Do you ever feel REALLY LOW or like giving up? DONT!!!

I had one of the most amazing days yesterday!
I really felt good and like God was working!
Today I woke up and I feel like killing myself...
BUT I WILL NOT.
I CANT BECAUSE JESUS WHO LIVES IN ME WONT ALLOW IT!!!
I have heard on occasion that right before or right after God works, is usually the hardest.
Satan is trying to destroy you, BUT...
GOD IS TRYING TO HELP YOU!!!
Everything we go through is a test from God.
He is doing many things in these tests.
He is seeing if we REALLY love Him.
He is showing us that HE is all that matters.
He is showing us that we were made for a purpose.
God made us with a mission in mind for us.
I am reminded of the show ARROW.
In it the father gives his life so that his son can live.
The son is thinking of ending his life because it is too hard.  He has some kind of dream where his father says to him, "would you throw your life away, WHEN I GAVE MY LIFE SO THAT YOU COULD LIVE AND MAKE THINGS BETTER"!!!
Jesus did not kill Himself...
Killing oneself is a HORRIBLE sin, and doesn't show love for people or Jesus, who gave His life for you.
Jesus's death wasn't a suicide...
It was either that everyone in the human race went to Hell, or He did.
He dove in front of the bullet that was headed for us.  He didn't selfishly take His life because it was hard. 
(For anyone who has lost someone, JESUSLOVESYOUANDSODOI!!!)
For people who are struggling, JESUSLOVESYOUANDSODOI!!!
Jesus took our place, in Hell, so that we could live for Him, and for other people.
I miss so many people in my life.
There are so many people I wish I could spend a long time with and never leave their presence!
I trust God that some of this will happen, soon!
But, I know, ALL OF THIS WILL HAPPEN IN HEAVEN!!!
THAT IS PART OF MY MISSION!!!
TO MAKE SURE THE ONES I LOVE WILL BE THERE!
PLUS I DONT WANT TO DISAPPOINT JESUS.
HE LOVES ME SO MUCH!
HE LETS ME GO THROUGH HARD TIMES, BUT HE NEVER LEAVES ME, AND ALWAYS HELPS ME.

WE ARE IN A WAR AGAINST A REAL ENEMY.
SOMETIMES I WISH IT WAS SOMEONE TRYING TO BEAT ME UP, SO I COULD PULVERIZE THE PERSON AND FEEL BETTER INSIDE.
YOU WANT SOMETHING TO FIGHT?
YOU WANT A REAL ENEMY?
FIGHT LONLINESS.
FIGHT THE SILENCE.
FIGHT THE DOUBT.
FIGHT FEAR.
FIGHT SIN.
BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT IT IS UP TO JESUS TO WIN IT FOR YOU.
WE MUST LOOK TO JESUS ALONE FOR STRENGTH.
WE MUST LOOK TO JESUS, THE AUTHOR AND PERFECTOR AND FINISHER OF OUR FAITH!!!
JESUS LOVES US AND WILL HELP US!
TONIGHT I KNOW THAT PART OF THE REASON I WAS STRUGGLING SO HARD, WAS BECAUSE JESUS WANTED ME TO WRITE THIS BLOG.
MANY PEOPLE ARE STRUGGLING.
THEY NEED JESUS.
THEY NEED US.
WE NEED EACH OTHER.

One of my favorite verses is from King David in the Psalms.
I don't know the reference, but I will never forget what it says.
I WILL see the Goodness of the LORD, in the land of the living!!!!!!!!
Where?
In Heaven?
NO.
In THIS LIFE!!!
Jesus Loves Us!!!
Every time I have ever struggled God has ALWAYS PULLED ME OUT!
When I was really struggling earlier, I heard someone outside my apartment say something.
I don't know if this is what they said, but the only thing I could make out, of what I thought they said was, "faithful".
God is faithful.
Are we going to be faithful to Him.
Are we going to fight the evil.
Are we going to lean on Jesus.
Are we going to help others.
Anyways...
JesusLovesYouGuys!!!!!!!!!
Let me know if you need anything
352 426 1821 or [email protected]
Never give up.
Jesus LOVES YOU!

This is not a lie, I pulled up youtube to get a couple good songs for this...
And THIS just HAPPENED to be there!!!!!!!!
PLEASE WATCH!!!
People need Jesus
People are hurting
People need me and you to shine the light of Jesus
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Love you!
Jesus Loves You!!!
:)

I was going to end this post because it is so long, but I feel I must tell the whole story...
While I was crying and being encouraged by the video above, my computer screen kept going to my screen saver...
Throughout the encouragement and tears of mine and those in the video, my screensaver kept popping up saying, "Jesus Is Lord"
moving around my screen!
Truly, Jesus is the answer!
And IS LORD!!!

Also I didn't mention before but in my struggle tonight, I was so upset, lonely, and angry that I kicked something on my floor...
It ended up hitting and breaking something special to me.
It was a glass ball with confetti in it that someone gave to me.
I didn't realize the depth of the meaning until now.
The confetti wasn't free, until the glass ball was broken.
Our sins weren't paid for until Jesus died.
We are not free until our glass breaks and we let Jesus in to Rule us.
Also people aren't saved and helped unless we struggle.
Jesus said that unless and seed die, it remains alone, but if it dies, it will bear much fruit.
This is talked about elsewhere in the Bible, where it says we must take up our cross daily and follow Jesus.
We die each day, that Jesus may save others.
Our cross we bear, is so others can see the light of Jesus.
OR MAYBE OUR CROSS WE BEAR, IS TO SHOW US THE ONE THAT BORE OUR CROSS SO THAT WE WOULD ESCAPE HELL AND BE REUNITED WITH HIM ON EARTH, AND THEN BE WITH HIM FOREVER, WHEN HE DECIDES WE HAVE FULFILLED HIS PURPOSE FOR US IN LOVING HIM AND PEOPLE TO THE GOAL OF MORE JOINING THE FAMILY!!!

I want to dedicate this post to certain people.
First, Jesus!
He is my only friend and Older Brother!!!!
Jesus Loves You!!!
Second, to my Sister, who I have to stick around to show her how to live (she is a constant encouragement!)
Third to my Dad, who struggles a lot (And I Love).
Fourth, to my Mom, who is always there for me.
Fifth to my small nephews who need me and give me something to live for.

For the people reading this who don't have anyone, YOU NOW DO!
I LOVE YOU AND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU IN PRAYER AND PERSON THE BEST I CAN!!!
JESUS IS THERE FOR YOU AND ALL THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN JESUS ARE PRAYING FOR YOU AND WITH YOU IN THIS STRUGGLE OF LIFE!
PAUL IS IN HEAVEN CHEERING YOU ON, AS ARE ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE BIBLE!!! 
 I ALSO WANT TO DEDICATE THIS TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, THAT I KNOW NOW AND THAT I WILL KNOW IN HEAVEN.
I ALSO WANT TO SAY THANKS TO AMY FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT FRIEND!!!

had to add THIS!