I can't live and won't live without Jesus!!!

After getting over being really sick, I went to see my family...
It didn't go all that well...
I took a drive to a special place I have, between me and God, and was thinking that I don't feel like living anymore...
I know God put me on earth to marry a certain girl and to look after my family and friends...
But somehow that just wasn't cutting it...
I pulled off the side of the road, before getting to the special place...
And I told God, "God I really need You, I need Your help, I need a reason to live, I need you really bad, I need You to help me live for you and not anything or anyone else...Jesus please help me, Jesus please help me feel you, Jesus please help"
I drove to the "special place" and still felt hopeless and like crying...
As I was returning I saw bleachers...
God spoke to my heart and reminded me that all people have value, especially His children...
Those bleachers meant something...
All of Heaven is watching my life, watching your life, to see what we are doing and what we will do...
They are seeing if we will be faithful, when it is hard...
They are seeing if we will trust Jesus...
They are seeing if we will pray and wait...knowing that God will give us exactly what we need at the exact right time...
I'm serious, I really think the Apostle Paul and Peter, and John and James, and all the Saints in the Old Testament are watching us...
Talking to Jesus about us...
"Jesus he looks like he needs you"
"Jesus she needs your strength"
"Look at him and her follow Jesus so well"
All of Heaven is watching us and cheering us on!!!
If they can finish strong, so can we!
It's like a stadium in Heaven and everyone there is watching to see what Jesus will do in us and through us!
They love us.
I love them and wish I could know the Apostle Paul and the whole lot!
But more importantly Jesus communicated to me that my life is not insignificant and it is actually eternally valuable.
Jesus died so I could live
Also, that Jesus is in control and overseeing the stadium event in Heaven and that He loves us...

It is bad to be arrogant...
It is also bad not to realize your importance to Jesus...
When you let Jesus come in and take over...
You become royalty...
You have a mission...
You are God's child...
God wouldn't send one of His children to earth to live a life that didn't really make a difference...
We may not always be able to see it, but our lives matter.
Was Jesus life just another life?
Neither are ours...
We also are God's children...
I like to look at my life like I was up in Heaven talking to God a few million years ago and we decided that I would go in 1984...
Just like Jesus was destined to go in 0 AD, we were destined to go from before time...
God has always known me...Billions of years ago God knew me, I was on His mind and in His heart, I signed up for this mission...
Anyways! lol
I kept driving and stopped at a Walmart for a break...
The thought hit me that I should see if they had a couple movies i'd been wanting...
I went in...both were easy to find and on sale!!!
God showed up in my life after that prayer on the side of the road...
He showed me the bleachers...and then gave me a couple movies to encourage me...
Then He gave me this song which sent me over the edge with Love for Jesus and Thanksgiving to OUR GREAT KING!!!!!!!!
JESUSLOVESYOU!!!